Throughout the events I have been through in my life: people coming then leave, people vanishing, people dropping out, people dying; it is likely to say that I am fully trained to deal with parting. I do feel bad to see those I once knew departing, but I can cope with it - the fear of once again being left alone is well-contained. In fact, it does not do me great impacts when they leave. What causes suffering to be imposed on me, however, is knowing that I am another step away from my childhood, further from innocence, one step closer to endless considerations for uncertainty.
That is to say, I see meeting new faces and farewells as one of the many stages of life. Who we meet is the beginning of a new chapter, fairly, those we part with represent the final full-stop at the end of each chapter.
I love reading. It is my working week and my Sunday rest; my noon, my midnight, my talk, my song. Still, I resent it to some extent when it comes to reading really good books. It is yet another torture to ponder the ascending action once the previous has come to an end. There is always more than one plot twist when I read into the books; thus the considerations of the attitude I should carry before stretching out my arms to greet unexpected events are as if the undertow that drags me under, giving me the sense of unease and pressure.
Perhaps, this is what makes me suffer - not because of the realization that I have come to an end of a chapter, but acknowledging, yet again, the start of a new chapter - the ambiguity of what is going to happen next.
On the other hand, in regard to leaving the life in High School, I am absolutely not saddened. For it signifies a new chapter that is pretty much going to include new characters, new events, new places (God knows what it will be, the vagueness still kills me). But either splendid or awful, always remember that it is not the end.
This is not the end.
