Saturday, October 12, 2024

Hera

Dad 

There are things I don’t understand.  
Things about the oceans,  
the gods, the seasons.  
How atoms spin endlessly in the void,  
how we breathe in chaos and exhale  
stillness.  
I used to think these mysteries were beautiful,  
but now, they are nothing more than noise,  
like static—  
and the voices in my head,  
questions closer to home
I cannot answer.

Like, why do we love the ones who hurt us  
and hurt the ones we love?  
Why does betrayal only bloom where trust once grew?  
At what age does a child learn the art of deception?  
Is it something you taught me without words?

The world owes Mom an awful lot.  
She suffocates us with her giving,  
and I wonder—  
Do you see it?  
Do you know what it costs her  
to fill this empty house with
pieces of herself?

I wonder—  
if all of us are victims of this world,  
who is the perpetrator?  
Is it fate? Is it you?  
Is it me who’s part of the silence,
holding in truth like smoke I refuse  
to release?

I can't help but think—  
Why do you stay in a home full of ghosts?  
Does love spoil, like milk
left too long in the fridge?  
Do lies have an expiry date too?  
Or do they sit, festering, until they poison  
everything around them?

Gravity has a way of making me
feel small.  
Every waking moment, I drag
my feet through a river of questions  
I know I can’t answer.  
There’s a storm beneath my ribs—  
I can’t tell if it’s rage or grief,  
or if it’s particles colliding
on what was once a crowded dance floor,  
but it’s drowning me all the same.  
I’m standing in the ruins of something  
I thought was unbreakable,  
and I no longer know how to rebuild.
 
Mom has given everything—  
her skin, her breath,  
her heart until it’s threadbare,  
and still, she stands.  
I don’t know if I will ever understand  
what made you tear at the seams,
why you chose to shatter  
the woman who gave us everything.  
And in the end, I don’t know if I can ever forgive you.

- Your daughter

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